Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
OOH, DENIED
So if you want to video chat, why didn't you just do it on Omegle? Ohh yeahhhh...all the fucking penises you have to see in order to find someone decent to talk to.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 16 male (Bi) hornyy wana skypee :D?
You: no
You: lolllllzzzz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 16 male (Bi) hornyy wana skypee :D?
You: no
You: lolllllzzzz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Cum Farts
This was a text-only chat, but I had fun with it. I think I trolled a troll :P
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Hey listen, I just realized that if you jizz in my asshole enough I can fart it out. You in?
You: haha ok
You: i wish i could jizz
Stranger: oh
You: that's the only problem :(
Stranger: that compliates things
You: because that would be awesome
You: yeahhhhh
Stranger: why?
You: because i'd laugh at it
You: come on, farting out jizz?
You: you wouldn't laugh?
You: it'd be awesome
Stranger: There has to be some term on urbandictionary for that
You: i'm sure there is
You: i'm googling it
Stranger: ditto
You: cum fart
Stranger: jizz fart
You: YES
Stranger:
When a man ejaculates into his partners ass/butt crack and as the day progresses said reciever ends up farting out jizz for the next 5hrs
You: nice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Hey listen, I just realized that if you jizz in my asshole enough I can fart it out. You in?
You: haha ok
You: i wish i could jizz
Stranger: oh
You: that's the only problem :(
Stranger: that compliates things
You: because that would be awesome
You: yeahhhhh
Stranger: why?
You: because i'd laugh at it
You: come on, farting out jizz?
You: you wouldn't laugh?
You: it'd be awesome
Stranger: There has to be some term on urbandictionary for that
You: i'm sure there is
You: i'm googling it
Stranger: ditto
You: cum fart
Stranger: jizz fart
You: YES
Stranger:
When a man ejaculates into his partners ass/butt crack and as the day progresses said reciever ends up farting out jizz for the next 5hrs
You: nice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
These guys are pussies.
The Stranger: Two guys, both in t-shirts and whatnot. I forgot.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how old r u
You: 21
You: how old are you guys?
Stranger: bullshit
Stranger: andd 17
You: bullshit?
You: wanna see my license?
You: shit
[One, I didn't have it with me. Two, is it really a good idea to show your drivers' license to some random idiots online? I was hoping they wouldn't want proof.]
Stranger: nooo
You: haha ok
[Relief.]
Stranger: wanna play dares :D
You: sure
You: can i ask for truths too?
You: or just dares?
Stranger: but kan we dare youu :)
[Uhhh?]
Stranger: daress
You: only dares?
You: hmmmm
Stranger: yess
You: don't like that as much
Stranger: u kan dare us firstt
[Hahaha, wow. Brave young men. Most guys on Omegle just want to get the girl naked as the first dare, I'm pretty sure.]
You: both of you. naked. totally. and spoon.
[And since I knew they wanted me naked, I wanted them naked too. NAKED PARTY! Or not.]
Stranger: hh fuck that
You: whaaaaat
[Come on, boys, it's only a little nudity. And spooning.]
You: :P
Stranger: naaa
Stranger: no wayyy
[Afraid you'll catch the gay?]
You: awww pussies
Stranger: get your tits out and mmaybee
[Oh, so I can get naked but they can't? Or probably won't.]
You: my friend says you guys are pussies too
You: :D
You: come on, just naked then?
[I figured I'd make it easier on them.]
Stranger: ur friend is a boy
[Wow, you guys are smart. He IS a boy. This was my boyfriend's roommate.]
You: yes
You: both of them
Stranger: tell ur friend to suck hiself
You: his dick's long enough, he probably could if he tried
[Hahahaha. I can't believe I said that.]
Stranger: eeee u ent even good looking enuff to get naked for
[For the record, they weren't exactly attractive either.]
You: good
Stranger: trampp.
[Me? Totally.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how old r u
You: 21
You: how old are you guys?
Stranger: bullshit
Stranger: andd 17
You: bullshit?
You: wanna see my license?
You: shit
[One, I didn't have it with me. Two, is it really a good idea to show your drivers' license to some random idiots online? I was hoping they wouldn't want proof.]
Stranger: nooo
You: haha ok
[Relief.]
Stranger: wanna play dares :D
You: sure
You: can i ask for truths too?
You: or just dares?
Stranger: but kan we dare youu :)
[Uhhh?]
Stranger: daress
You: only dares?
You: hmmmm
Stranger: yess
You: don't like that as much
Stranger: u kan dare us firstt
[Hahaha, wow. Brave young men. Most guys on Omegle just want to get the girl naked as the first dare, I'm pretty sure.]
You: both of you. naked. totally. and spoon.
[And since I knew they wanted me naked, I wanted them naked too. NAKED PARTY! Or not.]
Stranger: hh fuck that
You: whaaaaat
[Come on, boys, it's only a little nudity. And spooning.]
You: :P
Stranger: naaa
Stranger: no wayyy
[Afraid you'll catch the gay?]
You: awww pussies
Stranger: get your tits out and mmaybee
[Oh, so I can get naked but they can't? Or probably won't.]
You: my friend says you guys are pussies too
You: :D
You: come on, just naked then?
[I figured I'd make it easier on them.]
Stranger: ur friend is a boy
[Wow, you guys are smart. He IS a boy. This was my boyfriend's roommate.]
You: yes
You: both of them
Stranger: tell ur friend to suck hiself
You: his dick's long enough, he probably could if he tried
[Hahahaha. I can't believe I said that.]
Stranger: eeee u ent even good looking enuff to get naked for
[For the record, they weren't exactly attractive either.]
You: good
Stranger: trampp.
[Me? Totally.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Mudkipz
The Stranger: Yet another penis. Nondescript.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi girl
You: doooo u liek mudkipz?
You: plzzzzzzzzzzz tell
Stranger: you like ?
You: u liek mudkipz?
Stranger: yes
You: ooooooh
Stranger: make me hot
You: wud u ever fuck a mudkipz?
You: if u were a mudkipz?
You: that is
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Read the first definition. And I wouldn't have done this except the guy I talked to before this wanted to show me his "Pokemon" :P
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi girl
You: doooo u liek mudkipz?
You: plzzzzzzzzzzz tell
Stranger: you like ?
You: u liek mudkipz?
Stranger: yes
You: ooooooh
Stranger: make me hot
You: wud u ever fuck a mudkipz?
You: if u were a mudkipz?
You: that is
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Read the first definition. And I wouldn't have done this except the guy I talked to before this wanted to show me his "Pokemon" :P
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
OMG NAO U HAS TEH GAY
The Stranger: A penis. I forgot which one.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: that's a floppy little dick you got there
Stranger: yeah show me ur tits
[Hahaha, rude.]
You: not for that
You: no
[My boyfriend's roommate leans into the frame with a disgusted look on his face.]
You: there's a guy looking at your dick
You: hahahahahahaha
You: fag
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: that's a floppy little dick you got there
Stranger: yeah show me ur tits
[Hahaha, rude.]
You: not for that
You: no
[My boyfriend's roommate leans into the frame with a disgusted look on his face.]
You: there's a guy looking at your dick
You: hahahahahahaha
You: fag
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Crooked Dick Gets Caught
The Stranger: A guy in a white and light blue striped long-sleeved polo shirt. He has the camera pointed at his crooked dick. Bahahahahahahaha.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: nice
You: can my friends see your dick?
You: they are nervous and have never seen one before
[I'd been using this for a few chats, where I told masturbating men that my friends had never seen a dick before. Total lie--my "nervous" friends were actually my boyfriend and his roommate.]
Stranger: do you like?
You: they will like
[Because I sure didn't.]
Stranger: where are you from?
You: united states
Stranger: i m italian
You: can they see
You: aw fuck this, you have a little crooked dick
[Dude, it was for serious really crooked.]
Stranger: i see you please
You: see what?
Stranger: tits
You: no, not for your crooked dick
You: hahahahahahahaha
[I don't think my friends ever came. They were too busy playing Halo or something.]
You: no, removing your shirt does not help
[Yes. And he continues to tug on his crooked dick.]
Stranger: whi
You: i'm going to post the screen captures i just got on a web site for pictures of perverts
[Sudden slowing of stroking.]
You: hahahahaha
You: you've been caught
[He slowly beings putting his shirt on. I can't see his face, but I can tell he's feeling so ashamed of himself.]
You: yeah, you should probably get dressed
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: nice
You: can my friends see your dick?
You: they are nervous and have never seen one before
[I'd been using this for a few chats, where I told masturbating men that my friends had never seen a dick before. Total lie--my "nervous" friends were actually my boyfriend and his roommate.]
Stranger: do you like?
You: they will like
[Because I sure didn't.]
Stranger: where are you from?
You: united states
Stranger: i m italian
You: can they see
You: aw fuck this, you have a little crooked dick
[Dude, it was for serious really crooked.]
Stranger: i see you please
You: see what?
Stranger: tits
You: no, not for your crooked dick
You: hahahahahahahaha
[I don't think my friends ever came. They were too busy playing Halo or something.]
You: no, removing your shirt does not help
[Yes. And he continues to tug on his crooked dick.]
Stranger: whi
You: i'm going to post the screen captures i just got on a web site for pictures of perverts
[Sudden slowing of stroking.]
You: hahahahaha
You: you've been caught
[He slowly beings putting his shirt on. I can't see his face, but I can tell he's feeling so ashamed of himself.]
You: yeah, you should probably get dressed
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Seriously, Don't Read This One.
The Stranger: A black screen. Bastard.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: what would i have to do to see your tits?
You: hi
You: get ass fucked by a donkey using your own blood as lube
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: what would i have to do to see your tits?
You: hi
You: get ass fucked by a donkey using your own blood as lube
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
He Must Get Tired Of All The Guys On Omegle Wearin' Out His Name...
The Stranger: Guy with brown pubes-for-hair, a big nose, blushed cheeks, and a white long sleeved t-shirt with something written on it.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: wats up
You: nothing much, you?
You: what's your name?
Stranger: nm bored
Stranger: booobs :)
You: hey boobs, my name is samantha
You: nice to meet you, boobs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: wats up
You: nothing much, you?
You: what's your name?
Stranger: nm bored
Stranger: booobs :)
You: hey boobs, my name is samantha
You: nice to meet you, boobs.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Sexy Suicide
The Stranger: A guy in an olive green sweater with dark, wavy, short hair and pale skin. He's in a dark room.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: heyy
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
[Stupid asl stuff removed.]
Stranger: nice
Stranger: wanna have some fun?
You: sure
You: what kind of fun?
Stranger: how far are you willing to go? and nude fun>
You: i dunno
Stranger: boobs? pussy?
You: who knows how far i'll go?
[I pull out my boyfriend's roommate's plastic knife and start caressing my throat with the tip of the blade.]
You: would you like to see me slit my throat?
[The guy looks surprised.]
Stranger: no
You: but what if i did?
You: are you squeamish?
Stranger: will you show me your boobs?
[And of course, I'm hinting that I'm going to kill myself, but all he cares about are my boobs. Ugh. Men.]
You: no
Stranger: why not
You: because i'm going to die in a few moments
Stranger: and...
[Yeah, who gives a fuck if some bitch kills herself as long as she shows some tits?]
You: i liked the last guy who saw my tits better. i want him to be the last person who ever saw my tits while i'm alive.
[For the record, no one on Omegle has ever seen my tits.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: heyy
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
[Stupid asl stuff removed.]
Stranger: nice
Stranger: wanna have some fun?
You: sure
You: what kind of fun?
Stranger: how far are you willing to go? and nude fun>
You: i dunno
Stranger: boobs? pussy?
You: who knows how far i'll go?
[I pull out my boyfriend's roommate's plastic knife and start caressing my throat with the tip of the blade.]
You: would you like to see me slit my throat?
[The guy looks surprised.]
Stranger: no
You: but what if i did?
You: are you squeamish?
Stranger: will you show me your boobs?
[And of course, I'm hinting that I'm going to kill myself, but all he cares about are my boobs. Ugh. Men.]
You: no
Stranger: why not
You: because i'm going to die in a few moments
Stranger: and...
[Yeah, who gives a fuck if some bitch kills herself as long as she shows some tits?]
You: i liked the last guy who saw my tits better. i want him to be the last person who ever saw my tits while i'm alive.
[For the record, no one on Omegle has ever seen my tits.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
U OPEN TITS ME
The Stranger: A chunky guy with dark hair and dark stubble. I forgot what color shirt he was wearing.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: pls stop and listen me pls
[Ohhhh, playing pathetic. How cute.]
Stranger: hdyy
You: hi
You: ok
Stranger: how are u
Stranger: pls not close
Stranger: speak me
You: im good how are you?
Stranger: i m good
Stranger: where are u from
Stranger: u have msn ?
Stranger: she is wery sweet see
Stranger: wery sexy legs
[My boyfriend's roommate's girlfriend was sitting beside me. My boyfriend's roommate comes by and sits next to her.]
Stranger: he ie gay :D
[We argue that he is not gay, and she gets up to leave.]
Stranger: he is go
Stranger: she is come
[I loved this line. Hahahahaha.]
Stranger: come on
Stranger: :)
Stranger: u are young
Stranger: he is gay
[Boyfriend's roommate comes back to pop in.]
Stranger: where are u from ?
Stranger: i m not hear u
You: united states
Stranger: send me msn adress pls
Stranger: i m not hear my pc mute
You: i do not have it
Stranger: her is have ?
You: you pissed her off
Stranger: how old are u ?
You: she isnt giving it to you
You: 16
[Boyfriend's roommate wrote that about me. We had fun talking about me being underage earlier.]
You: 21 bitch
Stranger: :)
Stranger: she is come in
Stranger: i want see she
You: what is that smile for
[Seriously, this dude had a creepy smile.]
Stranger: :)
You: NO SHE IS NOT COMING BACK YOU THICK CUNT
[Sorry.]
Stranger: i m see
Stranger: :d
You: you are a fucking creep
You: she says so
You: i kinda think so too
Stranger: u and she like penis show ?
[Hahahahahahaha. Penis show. Just sounds so silly.]
You: sure
You: go for it
You: let's go run and get a microscope
[I was told to say that.]
You: first
You: hold up
Stranger: want u see ?
You: yes
You: show us your dick
Stranger: first open tits me and stand my dick
[Stand my dick?]
You: hahahaha i'll show you open tits....
Stranger: u
You: fuck you and your open tits
Stranger: u open tits me
Stranger: come on
You: you are about to get a good show
You: want to see my friends sexy ass
Stranger: ok
[My boyfriend's roommate volunteered to put on his girlfriend's skirt and moon the guy.]
You: instead
Stranger: i m not want see gay
[Hahahahahahahahaha.]
Stranger: :)
You: it's her from earlier
You: not the gay one
You: the one you liked
You: she is coming
Stranger: ok
You: she went to the bathroom real quick
You: she is here
You: here she comes, get ready
Stranger: not gir
[O RLY?]
You: now you looked at the gay and his ass, so you are gay
[Oh no, he has THE GAY now!]
Stranger: see me tits
You: no
You: you just saw ass
Stranger: i m just smile
Stranger: u are open tits me
You: first of all, the word is you
You: open isn't the word you're looking for either
You: sorry, the english major says so
Stranger: :)
Stranger: baby
[I fucking hate it when guys call me "baby," just for the record. It creeps me out. And pisses me off.]
Stranger: u are calling her
Stranger: or
Stranger: u are take off t-sirt
[Oh, which one should I choose? Decisions, decisions.]
You: you already saw her ass
You: no
Stranger: not her ass
Stranger: he is ass
[Yes, he is an ass ;)]
Stranger: :)
You: you are the thickest cunt in the damn universe
[Sorry, I had to say it again. He's just that thick.]
Stranger: i m know
[You know? Ohhhhhhhh. Okay. I guess that's good.]
Stranger: it is he
Stranger: not girl
You: yes, we have established that
You: it was the guy
You: yes
You: you are right
You: but you are not seeing anything of either of us ladies
You: i am sorry
Stranger: baby
[Go fuck yourself.]
Stranger: you are show me ?
You: i'm not your baby
You: what the fuck
[See? It pisses me off.]
You: i will not show you anything
You: ughhhhhh
Stranger: she is show me ?
You: she isn't going to show you anything
Stranger: she is come in
Stranger: i m open penis
You: show me and then she will come
Stranger: i want her
Stranger: ok ?
You: she thinks you are a creep and isn't coming
You: stop asking
Stranger: later see u
[Oh, so she isn't even enough. I see.]
You: she is fucking her gay boyfriend now
You: jealous?
Stranger: see me
You: no
Stranger: i want fuck
[Hahahahahaha, yet another win.]
You: dumb shit
Stranger: see me they
[English fail. Woooooooooo.]
Stranger: ok ?
You: they might show you that
You: if you really want
Stranger: see me they
Stranger: me too penis show
Stranger: see me they
Stranger: me too penis show
[Wow. Like they want to see his dick while they're trying to have sex.]
Stranger: ok ?
You: when you send me 500 dollars, you see fucking
You: ok?
You: you have paypal?
[Next time someone asks me for various screen names, I'm asking them for their Paypal. Fuckers.]
Stranger: hey
You: msn?
Stranger: i m send 500 dollars real bicht
[If you're gonna call me a bitch, at least do it right.]
Stranger: look
Stranger: she is write me
Stranger: bea:
don't use it to threaten me!
[What?]
Stranger: :D
You: no we were joking you stupid fuck, we do not want your money
You: sorry
Stranger: just 2 min see i m believe
Stranger: later send 200 dollar
[Is he fucking serious? What?]
Stranger: ok ?
You: no
You: we were joking
You: we do not want money
Stranger: see me they
You: they are not going to fuck for you
You: they are not even fucking
You: we were joking
Stranger: see me
Stranger: see me they
Stranger: ?
[Wow. How dense can a person get?]
You: they are not having sex
You: i was joking
Stranger: i want see she
You: i wanted to make you get excited
You: she is not coming back
You: she does not like you
Stranger: u show me ?
[I'm second choice, apparently.]
You: show you what?
Stranger: open tits me
Stranger: or i m go
You: good
You: go
You: that is what i want you to do
You: i am sorry
Stranger: u see me ?
You: no
[One last try. Oh well.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: pls stop and listen me pls
[Ohhhh, playing pathetic. How cute.]
Stranger: hdyy
You: hi
You: ok
Stranger: how are u
Stranger: pls not close
Stranger: speak me
You: im good how are you?
Stranger: i m good
Stranger: where are u from
Stranger: u have msn ?
Stranger: she is wery sweet see
Stranger: wery sexy legs
[My boyfriend's roommate's girlfriend was sitting beside me. My boyfriend's roommate comes by and sits next to her.]
Stranger: he ie gay :D
[We argue that he is not gay, and she gets up to leave.]
Stranger: he is go
Stranger: she is come
[I loved this line. Hahahahaha.]
Stranger: come on
Stranger: :)
Stranger: u are young
Stranger: he is gay
[Boyfriend's roommate comes back to pop in.]
Stranger: where are u from ?
Stranger: i m not hear u
You: united states
Stranger: send me msn adress pls
Stranger: i m not hear my pc mute
You: i do not have it
Stranger: her is have ?
You: you pissed her off
Stranger: how old are u ?
You: she isnt giving it to you
You: 16
[Boyfriend's roommate wrote that about me. We had fun talking about me being underage earlier.]
You: 21 bitch
Stranger: :)
Stranger: she is come in
Stranger: i want see she
You: what is that smile for
[Seriously, this dude had a creepy smile.]
Stranger: :)
You: NO SHE IS NOT COMING BACK YOU THICK CUNT
[Sorry.]
Stranger: i m see
Stranger: :d
You: you are a fucking creep
You: she says so
You: i kinda think so too
Stranger: u and she like penis show ?
[Hahahahahahaha. Penis show. Just sounds so silly.]
You: sure
You: go for it
You: let's go run and get a microscope
[I was told to say that.]
You: first
You: hold up
Stranger: want u see ?
You: yes
You: show us your dick
Stranger: first open tits me and stand my dick
[Stand my dick?]
You: hahahaha i'll show you open tits....
Stranger: u
You: fuck you and your open tits
Stranger: u open tits me
Stranger: come on
You: you are about to get a good show
You: want to see my friends sexy ass
Stranger: ok
[My boyfriend's roommate volunteered to put on his girlfriend's skirt and moon the guy.]
You: instead
Stranger: i m not want see gay
[Hahahahahahahahaha.]
Stranger: :)
You: it's her from earlier
You: not the gay one
You: the one you liked
You: she is coming
Stranger: ok
You: she went to the bathroom real quick
You: she is here
You: here she comes, get ready
Stranger: not gir
[O RLY?]
You: now you looked at the gay and his ass, so you are gay
[Oh no, he has THE GAY now!]
Stranger: see me tits
You: no
You: you just saw ass
Stranger: i m just smile
Stranger: u are open tits me
You: first of all, the word is you
You: open isn't the word you're looking for either
You: sorry, the english major says so
Stranger: :)
Stranger: baby
[I fucking hate it when guys call me "baby," just for the record. It creeps me out. And pisses me off.]
Stranger: u are calling her
Stranger: or
Stranger: u are take off t-sirt
[Oh, which one should I choose? Decisions, decisions.]
You: you already saw her ass
You: no
Stranger: not her ass
Stranger: he is ass
[Yes, he is an ass ;)]
Stranger: :)
You: you are the thickest cunt in the damn universe
[Sorry, I had to say it again. He's just that thick.]
Stranger: i m know
[You know? Ohhhhhhhh. Okay. I guess that's good.]
Stranger: it is he
Stranger: not girl
You: yes, we have established that
You: it was the guy
You: yes
You: you are right
You: but you are not seeing anything of either of us ladies
You: i am sorry
Stranger: baby
[Go fuck yourself.]
Stranger: you are show me ?
You: i'm not your baby
You: what the fuck
[See? It pisses me off.]
You: i will not show you anything
You: ughhhhhh
Stranger: she is show me ?
You: she isn't going to show you anything
Stranger: she is come in
Stranger: i m open penis
You: show me and then she will come
Stranger: i want her
Stranger: ok ?
You: she thinks you are a creep and isn't coming
You: stop asking
Stranger: later see u
[Oh, so she isn't even enough. I see.]
You: she is fucking her gay boyfriend now
You: jealous?
Stranger: see me
You: no
Stranger: i want fuck
[Hahahahahaha, yet another win.]
You: dumb shit
Stranger: see me they
[English fail. Woooooooooo.]
Stranger: ok ?
You: they might show you that
You: if you really want
Stranger: see me they
Stranger: me too penis show
Stranger: see me they
Stranger: me too penis show
[Wow. Like they want to see his dick while they're trying to have sex.]
Stranger: ok ?
You: when you send me 500 dollars, you see fucking
You: ok?
You: you have paypal?
[Next time someone asks me for various screen names, I'm asking them for their Paypal. Fuckers.]
Stranger: hey
You: msn?
Stranger: i m send 500 dollars real bicht
[If you're gonna call me a bitch, at least do it right.]
Stranger: look
Stranger: she is write me
Stranger: bea:
don't use it to threaten me!
[What?]
Stranger: :D
You: no we were joking you stupid fuck, we do not want your money
You: sorry
Stranger: just 2 min see i m believe
Stranger: later send 200 dollar
[Is he fucking serious? What?]
Stranger: ok ?
You: no
You: we were joking
You: we do not want money
Stranger: see me they
You: they are not going to fuck for you
You: they are not even fucking
You: we were joking
Stranger: see me
Stranger: see me they
Stranger: ?
[Wow. How dense can a person get?]
You: they are not having sex
You: i was joking
Stranger: i want see she
You: i wanted to make you get excited
You: she is not coming back
You: she does not like you
Stranger: u show me ?
[I'm second choice, apparently.]
You: show you what?
Stranger: open tits me
Stranger: or i m go
You: good
You: go
You: that is what i want you to do
You: i am sorry
Stranger: u see me ?
You: no
[One last try. Oh well.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Blue Shirt Beating Off
The Stranger: A guy's penis. And there was a blue shirt up top.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hiii
You: nice dick
Stranger: thannnks
You: can my sexy girl friends see it too?
[I was with my boyfriend and his roommate.]
You: is that okay?
Stranger: k
Stranger: i know it's a dude lol
You: haha what if i brought dudes over?
You: would you care?
Stranger: ok
You: they like dick
[They actually don't.]
You: do you?
Stranger: if you take your shirt off i will :D
Stranger: and i'll like dick too
[HAHAHAHAHA.]
You: you will like dick if i take off my shirt?
Stranger: whatever it takes
You: their dick?
You: both?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: fine
Stranger: not if he's black though
[Whaaaaaaat? Wow.]
Stranger: scary
You: hahaha
[What could I say? It caught me off guard.]
Stranger: :D
You: brb
[I scooted to the other side of the couch.]
Stranger: k
Stranger: ooooo
Stranger: hi man
[Then I came back.]
Stranger: oh
Stranger: thought you did a switcheroo
Stranger: hahah
You: you wanna see my friends tits? this one is small
[My boyfriend's roommate.]
Stranger: kk
You: but i'm small too
You: she's a bit bigger
You: lolll
Stranger: lol ok
Stranger: i can't do it
Stranger: hahahaha
You: did you like those?
Stranger: so soft lmao
You: they were kinda small
Stranger: yea
You: yeah really small
Stranger: puberty will do her good
You: yeah
You: that was seriously a girl
Stranger: lies
You: no
Stranger: prove it
Stranger: just a boob to be fair
[I called my boyfriend's roommate out to show his "vagina," and he pretended to be too shy. I called him out on it, and said that he was just a whore pretending to be all chaste and whatnot.]
You: she's a whore
Stranger: for sure
You: she's being a pussy
Stranger: lol
You: she's so timid but i think she is coming to do it
Stranger: niceeee
You: my other friend is trying to convince her
Stranger: lol wtf how many people are there
You: three
Stranger: if you help me time it i'll cum for (her) and freak him the fuck out
Stranger: :/
You: plus my roommate who is hiding in room
[Referring to one of my boyfriend's other roommates.]
Stranger: no you didn't play along
Stranger: sigh
You: she's coming
Stranger: loool
You: she is
You: she's coming back
Stranger: mmmhmm
Stranger: stooop it
Stranger: looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
Stranger: i am not into the black!
Stranger: she's black
Stranger: patty sounds femanine
[My boyfriend was nicknamed "Patty."]
You: bitch is ignoring me
You: yeah
Stranger: turn the camera
Stranger: lol
You: she's over there doing something on the computer
You: looking at porn
[I pulled out the plastic knife again, just for kicks.]
You: i will cut it off
You: hahahahaha
You: here comes my friend
Stranger: k
You: she has condoms
[Yes, my boyfriend's roommate brought over some condoms and "wondered" about how to use them.]
You: oooooooh
You: she is such a ho
Stranger: lol
You: she's gonna put a clip on her nipples
[He put a chip clip on his nipple and showed it again.]
You: for you :D
Stranger: kk
Stranger: stop
You: stop what?
Stranger: ya[']
[That wasn't my comment, BTW.]
Stranger: lol
Stranger: wait not yet!
[I was talking about the guy's mother, bestiality, and Barack Obama. He did not appreciate it.]
Stranger: eeww'
Stranger: can i cum?
[I explained that I am a dominatrix, love being dominant, and that he was not, under any circumstances, allowed to reach orgasm.]
Stranger: :(
Stranger: lol
Stranger: too late
[Dude squirts semen all over his nice blue shirt. I tell him to be ashamed of himself.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hiii
You: nice dick
Stranger: thannnks
You: can my sexy girl friends see it too?
[I was with my boyfriend and his roommate.]
You: is that okay?
Stranger: k
Stranger: i know it's a dude lol
You: haha what if i brought dudes over?
You: would you care?
Stranger: ok
You: they like dick
[They actually don't.]
You: do you?
Stranger: if you take your shirt off i will :D
Stranger: and i'll like dick too
[HAHAHAHAHA.]
You: you will like dick if i take off my shirt?
Stranger: whatever it takes
You: their dick?
You: both?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: fine
Stranger: not if he's black though
[Whaaaaaaat? Wow.]
Stranger: scary
You: hahaha
[What could I say? It caught me off guard.]
Stranger: :D
You: brb
[I scooted to the other side of the couch.]
Stranger: k
Stranger: ooooo
Stranger: hi man
[Then I came back.]
Stranger: oh
Stranger: thought you did a switcheroo
Stranger: hahah
You: you wanna see my friends tits? this one is small
[My boyfriend's roommate.]
Stranger: kk
You: but i'm small too
You: she's a bit bigger
You: lolll
Stranger: lol ok
Stranger: i can't do it
Stranger: hahahaha
You: did you like those?
Stranger: so soft lmao
You: they were kinda small
Stranger: yea
You: yeah really small
Stranger: puberty will do her good
You: yeah
You: that was seriously a girl
Stranger: lies
You: no
Stranger: prove it
Stranger: just a boob to be fair
[I called my boyfriend's roommate out to show his "vagina," and he pretended to be too shy. I called him out on it, and said that he was just a whore pretending to be all chaste and whatnot.]
You: she's a whore
Stranger: for sure
You: she's being a pussy
Stranger: lol
You: she's so timid but i think she is coming to do it
Stranger: niceeee
You: my other friend is trying to convince her
Stranger: lol wtf how many people are there
You: three
Stranger: if you help me time it i'll cum for (her) and freak him the fuck out
Stranger: :/
You: plus my roommate who is hiding in room
[Referring to one of my boyfriend's other roommates.]
Stranger: no you didn't play along
Stranger: sigh
You: she's coming
Stranger: loool
You: she is
You: she's coming back
Stranger: mmmhmm
Stranger: stooop it
Stranger: looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
Stranger: i am not into the black!
Stranger: she's black
Stranger: patty sounds femanine
[My boyfriend was nicknamed "Patty."]
You: bitch is ignoring me
You: yeah
Stranger: turn the camera
Stranger: lol
You: she's over there doing something on the computer
You: looking at porn
[I pulled out the plastic knife again, just for kicks.]
You: i will cut it off
You: hahahahaha
You: here comes my friend
Stranger: k
You: she has condoms
[Yes, my boyfriend's roommate brought over some condoms and "wondered" about how to use them.]
You: oooooooh
You: she is such a ho
Stranger: lol
You: she's gonna put a clip on her nipples
[He put a chip clip on his nipple and showed it again.]
You: for you :D
Stranger: kk
Stranger: stop
You: stop what?
Stranger: ya[']
[That wasn't my comment, BTW.]
Stranger: lol
Stranger: wait not yet!
[I was talking about the guy's mother, bestiality, and Barack Obama. He did not appreciate it.]
Stranger: eeww'
Stranger: can i cum?
[I explained that I am a dominatrix, love being dominant, and that he was not, under any circumstances, allowed to reach orgasm.]
Stranger: :(
Stranger: lol
Stranger: too late
[Dude squirts semen all over his nice blue shirt. I tell him to be ashamed of himself.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I WILL CUT YOU
The Stranger: A guy's penis. Yup.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: I WILL BLOW THIS IN 1 MINUTE, WANNA BET?
[My boyfriend's roommate gave me a fake plastic hunting knife to play with, and I flashed it to the camera.]
You: i'm gonna cut your dick off with this
[He kinda stops for a second.]
Stranger: oh thats bad
You: yeah
You: you into that?
Stranger: what did i do?
You: i dunno
Stranger: im innocent
Stranger: i was just jerking off
Stranger: :P
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: I WILL BLOW THIS IN 1 MINUTE, WANNA BET?
[My boyfriend's roommate gave me a fake plastic hunting knife to play with, and I flashed it to the camera.]
You: i'm gonna cut your dick off with this
[He kinda stops for a second.]
Stranger: oh thats bad
You: yeah
You: you into that?
Stranger: what did i do?
You: i dunno
Stranger: im innocent
Stranger: i was just jerking off
Stranger: :P
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I'm gonna tell my boyfriend on you.
The Stranger: A guy in a red long sleeved t-shirt. I can't see his eyes but I think he has dark hair.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi baby
[Ughhh.]
You: hi
Stranger: :)
You: what's your name?
[Names removed.]
Stranger: mm nice.
Stranger: samantha show ?
You: show what?
Stranger: my dick u boobs ?
You: no
Stranger: pls :(
You: no
You: i don't want to see your dick.
You: sorry.
Stranger: mm open boobs pls :(
You: open boobs?
You: hahaha no
[Maybe if I whip out my dick, she'll "open boobs" upon me.]
You: i told you i didn't want to see that.
You: my boyfriend and his roommate are coming over to see your dick now
[Quick pause, just taking it all in...]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi baby
[Ughhh.]
You: hi
Stranger: :)
You: what's your name?
[Names removed.]
Stranger: mm nice.
Stranger: samantha show ?
You: show what?
Stranger: my dick u boobs ?
You: no
Stranger: pls :(
You: no
You: i don't want to see your dick.
You: sorry.
Stranger: mm open boobs pls :(
You: open boobs?
You: hahaha no
[Maybe if I whip out my dick, she'll "open boobs" upon me.]
You: i told you i didn't want to see that.
You: my boyfriend and his roommate are coming over to see your dick now
[Quick pause, just taking it all in...]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Naked Dance
The Stranger: A skinny French guy with dark hair and lots of stubble, wearing a grey long-sleeved t-shirt (with a bear and something about winter on it) and solid bright blue track pants
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: how are u?
You: very good, how are you?
Stranger: fine ;)
[The wink lets me know that I'm going to have lots of fun with this conversation, and that you think you will too.]
[Bunch of asl crap.]
Stranger: wanna see me dance? ahah
You: go for it, haha
Stranger: ahah ok
Stranger: can i see u? (face)
Stranger: smile
Stranger: yeah
You: you good?
You: hahaha
You: happy now?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: wanna i dance naked or weared? ahah
You: whatever floats your boat :P
Stranger: what?
You: oh, whatever makes you happiest
Stranger: (i don't understand)
Stranger: okk
You: that's what that means
You: haha sorry
Stranger: naked is funniest
You: okay then
Stranger: (u know, it's not very long ahah)
You: you can do that if you want
Stranger: i do
You: okay
You: you are silly
[Dude stands up, swivels his hips, and slowly drags the pants down before swinging his dick around like something off Meatspin.]
You: :D
[Thoroughly amused.]
Stranger: small? :(
You: no
You: not necessarily
[For the record, it was about average.]
You: not gonna finish your dance?
You: :(
Stranger: ahah
Stranger: can i see u now?
[My pet peeve: guys on Omegle thinking that if they show themselves to me, I agree to show myself to them. Seriously? I didn't ask you to do a naked dance.]
Stranger: :)
You: or was that it?
[I was pretty disappointed; the dance was actually really funny.]
You: haha, we didn't agree to that :P
You: i'll dance for you if you want
Stranger: yess
You: does that float your boat? :D
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ahah
[I sit up on my knees and wave my arms around like an idiot, shifting my weight back and forth.]
You: is that a good dance?
You: hahaha
Stranger: ahah
Stranger: cmoooon
You: i don't dance well
Stranger: take off clothesss
Stranger: ahah
You: no sir, it's cold here :(
[I really was wrapped in a blanket through the whole thing.]
You: hahaha
Stranger: one secondddd
Stranger: :)
You: haha okay?
Stranger: i make it MORE SMALL!!!!
Stranger: it was impossible
[The fuck?]
Stranger: ahah
You: what, your penis?
[I'm confused.]
Stranger: yess
Stranger: ahah
You: okay?
You: how are you going to do that?
Stranger: what'
You: what?
Stranger: what's ur name?
[And then he changes the subject, without ever showing me how he makes his flaccid penis smaller.]
[Name talk all gone.]
Stranger: do it
Stranger: for me
You: do what?
Stranger: look
Stranger: this
[He lifts up his shirt and caresses his nipples.]
Stranger: :)
You: no sir
You: :P
Stranger: sadd
Stranger: why nott
[Pathetic, confused look on his face.]
You: because
Stranger: yes?
You: bye now :)
You have disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: how are u?
You: very good, how are you?
Stranger: fine ;)
[The wink lets me know that I'm going to have lots of fun with this conversation, and that you think you will too.]
[Bunch of asl crap.]
Stranger: wanna see me dance? ahah
You: go for it, haha
Stranger: ahah ok
Stranger: can i see u? (face)
Stranger: smile
Stranger: yeah
You: you good?
You: hahaha
You: happy now?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: wanna i dance naked or weared? ahah
You: whatever floats your boat :P
Stranger: what?
You: oh, whatever makes you happiest
Stranger: (i don't understand)
Stranger: okk
You: that's what that means
You: haha sorry
Stranger: naked is funniest
You: okay then
Stranger: (u know, it's not very long ahah)
You: you can do that if you want
Stranger: i do
You: okay
You: you are silly
[Dude stands up, swivels his hips, and slowly drags the pants down before swinging his dick around like something off Meatspin.]
You: :D
[Thoroughly amused.]
Stranger: small? :(
You: no
You: not necessarily
[For the record, it was about average.]
You: not gonna finish your dance?
You: :(
Stranger: ahah
Stranger: can i see u now?
[My pet peeve: guys on Omegle thinking that if they show themselves to me, I agree to show myself to them. Seriously? I didn't ask you to do a naked dance.]
Stranger: :)
You: or was that it?
[I was pretty disappointed; the dance was actually really funny.]
You: haha, we didn't agree to that :P
You: i'll dance for you if you want
Stranger: yess
You: does that float your boat? :D
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ahah
[I sit up on my knees and wave my arms around like an idiot, shifting my weight back and forth.]
You: is that a good dance?
You: hahaha
Stranger: ahah
Stranger: cmoooon
You: i don't dance well
Stranger: take off clothesss
Stranger: ahah
You: no sir, it's cold here :(
[I really was wrapped in a blanket through the whole thing.]
You: hahaha
Stranger: one secondddd
Stranger: :)
You: haha okay?
Stranger: i make it MORE SMALL!!!!
Stranger: it was impossible
[The fuck?]
Stranger: ahah
You: what, your penis?
[I'm confused.]
Stranger: yess
Stranger: ahah
You: okay?
You: how are you going to do that?
Stranger: what'
You: what?
Stranger: what's ur name?
[And then he changes the subject, without ever showing me how he makes his flaccid penis smaller.]
[Name talk all gone.]
Stranger: do it
Stranger: for me
You: do what?
Stranger: look
Stranger: this
[He lifts up his shirt and caresses his nipples.]
Stranger: :)
You: no sir
You: :P
Stranger: sadd
Stranger: why nott
[Pathetic, confused look on his face.]
You: because
Stranger: yes?
You: bye now :)
You have disconnected.
Monday, January 31, 2011
OMGZZZZ HOLLISTER
The Stranger: A guy in a yellow Hollister t-shirt, vigorously masturbating.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey hollister
You: what's up
Stranger: hey
Stranger: wanna play
You: play what?
You: we match, omg
You: we're both wearing yellow :D
[Yeah, I'm so obnoxious.]
Stranger: get naked
You: why?
You: is that how you play?
Stranger: i wanna see
You: oh
You: i'm sorry, dave, i'm afraid i can't do that
[I couldn't resist.]
Stranger: yeah
You: is your name dave?
Stranger: show me your tits
You: they are smiling at you
[Once again, I bring out the smiley boobs from the last two posts. Hey, maybe if guys stopped asking for boobs then I would stop showing them my poorly-drawn representation of female anatomy.]
You: do you like them?
Stranger: real ones
You: they are mine
You: they are real
You: i just drew them
[At this point, he starts tucking his dick back in his pants, zips up, and buckles his belt in defeat.]
You: why are you zipping back up?
Stranger: well your not showing
You: oh
You: that's right
Stranger: yeah
[I'm no fun.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey hollister
You: what's up
Stranger: hey
Stranger: wanna play
You: play what?
You: we match, omg
You: we're both wearing yellow :D
[Yeah, I'm so obnoxious.]
Stranger: get naked
You: why?
You: is that how you play?
Stranger: i wanna see
You: oh
You: i'm sorry, dave, i'm afraid i can't do that
[I couldn't resist.]
Stranger: yeah
You: is your name dave?
Stranger: show me your tits
You: they are smiling at you
[Once again, I bring out the smiley boobs from the last two posts. Hey, maybe if guys stopped asking for boobs then I would stop showing them my poorly-drawn representation of female anatomy.]
You: do you like them?
Stranger: real ones
You: they are mine
You: they are real
You: i just drew them
[At this point, he starts tucking his dick back in his pants, zips up, and buckles his belt in defeat.]
You: why are you zipping back up?
Stranger: well your not showing
You: oh
You: that's right
Stranger: yeah
[I'm no fun.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
TI-83. Hey, it would get the nerdy guys hot.
The Stranger: A kid in an olive green t-shirt with blushed cheeks and blonde hair. He's in a dimly lit room, but with something that looks like freaking candles flickering in the background.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: u wanna sex
[Okay, uhm, blunt is good...]
You: i wanna sex?
You: what do you mean?
[I'm not even trying to be an ass. I seriously don't know what "wanna sex" would actually entail.]
Stranger: show stuff
You: oh
Stranger: ya do u
You: those are my boobs
You: i drew them earlier
[Yup, I pulled out the boob picture from the previous post.]
Stranger: no bare from u and me
You: bare from you and me?
You: you have boobs to show?
Stranger: no let me see the really thing and u will see cock
You: why do i want to see your cock?
Stranger: i know u want to
You: i really don't want to
You: do you like my boobs?
You: they are smiling at you
You: and they are wiggling
[I'm waving them back and forth periodically, then putting them down and grinning like I'm absolutely insane.]
Stranger: ya can i see the really thing please under that nice shirt
You: this isn't a nice shirt, this is a grotty barn shirt :P
[I'm not even joking. It's a gross, bright yellow t-shirt with a horse on the front. And the horse is wearing sunglasses. It looks goofy. I like it, but it's not exactly "nice" or anything I should be complimented on.]
You: i like my real boobs where they are, it is cold in here
Stranger: oh plaese show me some thing
[I look around on my desk and pick up the first thing I see.]
You: that's my calculator
[I flashed him my TI-83. I slid it out of the cover and everything. Man, he got lucky.]
You: i showed you something.
You: see?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: u wanna sex
[Okay, uhm, blunt is good...]
You: i wanna sex?
You: what do you mean?
[I'm not even trying to be an ass. I seriously don't know what "wanna sex" would actually entail.]
Stranger: show stuff
You: oh
Stranger: ya do u
You: those are my boobs
You: i drew them earlier
[Yup, I pulled out the boob picture from the previous post.]
Stranger: no bare from u and me
You: bare from you and me?
You: you have boobs to show?
Stranger: no let me see the really thing and u will see cock
You: why do i want to see your cock?
Stranger: i know u want to
You: i really don't want to
You: do you like my boobs?
You: they are smiling at you
You: and they are wiggling
[I'm waving them back and forth periodically, then putting them down and grinning like I'm absolutely insane.]
Stranger: ya can i see the really thing please under that nice shirt
You: this isn't a nice shirt, this is a grotty barn shirt :P
[I'm not even joking. It's a gross, bright yellow t-shirt with a horse on the front. And the horse is wearing sunglasses. It looks goofy. I like it, but it's not exactly "nice" or anything I should be complimented on.]
You: i like my real boobs where they are, it is cold in here
Stranger: oh plaese show me some thing
[I look around on my desk and pick up the first thing I see.]
You: that's my calculator
[I flashed him my TI-83. I slid it out of the cover and everything. Man, he got lucky.]
You: i showed you something.
You: see?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
The Boobs That Smile Back
The Stranger: A tanned guy with stubble and dark hair, and I think wearing an orange shirt. His guy friend pokes his head in every once in a while, but I can only see his orange baseball cap.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
[Skipping the ASL/name stuff...]
You: who is your friend?
[Of course, no answer. Ugh.]
Stranger: stand up plz
[I stand up halfway and throw some trash off my desk into the trash can by my desk. Obviously it wasn't good enough.]
You: that good?
Stranger: no qgain
You: why?
Stranger: for see your body
You: why do you want to see my body?
[Long pause, a few awkward facial expressions on his part.]
Stranger: okno problem
[He asks me if I have a Facebook, a Skype, and other various forms of messaging. Obviously, I don't give these out to just anyone, so I keep answering no. Then I make a type. Fail on my part.]
You: why are yu smiling so much?
You: you look very happy
You: no i do not have msn
[Actually the truth, by the way.]
Stranger: yes i'm very happy
You: why?
Stranger: you hve a boobs ?
You: why do you ask?
Stranger: because always no
You: well, yes i do have those
Stranger: can i see plz
You: why do you want to see?
Stranger: because i'm hot now
You: that's your own damn problem
Stranger: plz
Stranger: see me
You: no
You: see you?
You: what do you mean?
Stranger: you want see my dick
Stranger: ?
You: no
You: hahahaha why would i want to see that?
You: why?
You: no answer?
Stranger: wait
You: wait for what?
Stranger: see me plz
You: i don't want to see your dick
You: and i'm sure your friend doesn't want to see either
Stranger: no see me your boobs
[Ohhhhhhhh. I got confused.]
You: hahahaha
You: no
Stranger: ok sorry
You: i don't think you want to see enough anyway
[He stopped smiling, so I thought he'd given up and lost interest.]
Stranger: tits plz
You: oh, you're smiling again
You: no
You: here i will show you some boobs
[I quickly draw some boobs with smiley faces for nipples on a piece of printer paper, then hold it up for the camera.]
You: drew them just for you
Stranger: looooooooooooooooooooool
[At least he has a sense of humor! Bonus points for him.]
You: they are smiling, just like you
You: do you like them?
Stranger: your tits
You: does your friend like them?
You: these are my tits, i drew them
You: they are very happy to see you
Stranger: by
You: bye bye
You have disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
[Skipping the ASL/name stuff...]
You: who is your friend?
[Of course, no answer. Ugh.]
Stranger: stand up plz
[I stand up halfway and throw some trash off my desk into the trash can by my desk. Obviously it wasn't good enough.]
You: that good?
Stranger: no qgain
You: why?
Stranger: for see your body
You: why do you want to see my body?
[Long pause, a few awkward facial expressions on his part.]
Stranger: okno problem
[He asks me if I have a Facebook, a Skype, and other various forms of messaging. Obviously, I don't give these out to just anyone, so I keep answering no. Then I make a type. Fail on my part.]
You: why are yu smiling so much?
You: you look very happy
You: no i do not have msn
[Actually the truth, by the way.]
Stranger: yes i'm very happy
You: why?
Stranger: you hve a boobs ?
You: why do you ask?
Stranger: because always no
You: well, yes i do have those
Stranger: can i see plz
You: why do you want to see?
Stranger: because i'm hot now
You: that's your own damn problem
Stranger: plz
Stranger: see me
You: no
You: see you?
You: what do you mean?
Stranger: you want see my dick
Stranger: ?
You: no
You: hahahaha why would i want to see that?
You: why?
You: no answer?
Stranger: wait
You: wait for what?
Stranger: see me plz
You: i don't want to see your dick
You: and i'm sure your friend doesn't want to see either
Stranger: no see me your boobs
[Ohhhhhhhh. I got confused.]
You: hahahaha
You: no
Stranger: ok sorry
You: i don't think you want to see enough anyway
[He stopped smiling, so I thought he'd given up and lost interest.]
Stranger: tits plz
You: oh, you're smiling again
You: no
You: here i will show you some boobs
[I quickly draw some boobs with smiley faces for nipples on a piece of printer paper, then hold it up for the camera.]
You: drew them just for you
Stranger: looooooooooooooooooooool
[At least he has a sense of humor! Bonus points for him.]
You: they are smiling, just like you
You: do you like them?
Stranger: your tits
You: does your friend like them?
You: these are my tits, i drew them
You: they are very happy to see you
Stranger: by
You: bye bye
You have disconnected.
"I have each other to like"
The Stranger: A pretty skinny guy with pale-ish skin, stubble, black hair, wearing a t-shirt that said something like "contrary to (something something that I couldn't see)" and grey shorts with a blue stripe down either side.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hı
You: hi
You: what's your name?
Stranger: Show your face
[He never tells me his name, even though I asked at least one more time. A conversation continues for several minutes, until I am ready to go.]
You: i must go to bed now, i am sorry
You: i am very sleepy and have to get up early in the morning
You: good night, it was very nice talking to you
Stranger: undrees
You: what?
Stranger: undress
You: why?
Stranger: peel
[Am I a banana or something?]
Stranger: undress
Stranger: you undress
You: why do you want me to do that?
Stranger: I have each other to like
[I get up suddenly and go across the room to do something, then quickly return.]
Stranger: alo
[What?]
Stranger: I have each other to like
You: what?
Stranger: I have each other to like
[No, seriously, what the fuck does that mean and why do you keep repeating it?]
You: sorry, i had to do something
You: what do you mean?
Stranger: but I do not have to be subject to
Stranger: plees
Stranger: pless
Stranger: undress
You: what do you not have to be subject to?
You: why do you want me to undress?
You: i do not want to undress
Stranger: lost without you
[Creeeeeeeepy.]
You: i am terribly sorry...what?
Stranger: but I want to
Stranger: pless
You: what do you want to do?
Stranger: lost without you
[Come on, now. We've been talking for all of five minutes. I don't get lost without people until at least a seven minute conversation.]
Stranger: pless
Stranger: lost without you
You: i'm sorry, i really have to go right now. i need to go to bed and i am not going to undress.
[Because at this point the "lost without you" is kinda creeping me out.]
You: i don't want to see that.
[Yupppppp. He aims the camera at his crotch.]
Stranger: pless
You: no
Stranger: undress
You: seeing your dick in your pants isn't going to convince me to undress
[He's sitting there massaging himself through his pants.]
You: seeing your dick OUTSIDE your pants isn't going to convince me to undress
[But maybe, juuuuuusssssst mayyyyybeeeeee, she'll undress when she sees THIS!]
You: i'm sorry
You: good night
You: no, it's really not helping
[Vigorous masturbation. And looking into the camera with a sad look on his face.]
Stranger: pless
You: no
Stranger: undres
You: bye
You: no, how many damn times do i have to tell you that i'm not going to undress?
You: good night
You have disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hı
You: hi
You: what's your name?
Stranger: Show your face
[He never tells me his name, even though I asked at least one more time. A conversation continues for several minutes, until I am ready to go.]
You: i must go to bed now, i am sorry
You: i am very sleepy and have to get up early in the morning
You: good night, it was very nice talking to you
Stranger: undrees
You: what?
Stranger: undress
You: why?
Stranger: peel
[Am I a banana or something?]
Stranger: undress
Stranger: you undress
You: why do you want me to do that?
Stranger: I have each other to like
[I get up suddenly and go across the room to do something, then quickly return.]
Stranger: alo
[What?]
Stranger: I have each other to like
You: what?
Stranger: I have each other to like
[No, seriously, what the fuck does that mean and why do you keep repeating it?]
You: sorry, i had to do something
You: what do you mean?
Stranger: but I do not have to be subject to
Stranger: plees
Stranger: pless
Stranger: undress
You: what do you not have to be subject to?
You: why do you want me to undress?
You: i do not want to undress
Stranger: lost without you
[Creeeeeeeepy.]
You: i am terribly sorry...what?
Stranger: but I want to
Stranger: pless
You: what do you want to do?
Stranger: lost without you
[Come on, now. We've been talking for all of five minutes. I don't get lost without people until at least a seven minute conversation.]
Stranger: pless
Stranger: lost without you
You: i'm sorry, i really have to go right now. i need to go to bed and i am not going to undress.
[Because at this point the "lost without you" is kinda creeping me out.]
You: i don't want to see that.
[Yupppppp. He aims the camera at his crotch.]
Stranger: pless
You: no
Stranger: undress
You: seeing your dick in your pants isn't going to convince me to undress
[He's sitting there massaging himself through his pants.]
You: seeing your dick OUTSIDE your pants isn't going to convince me to undress
[But maybe, juuuuuusssssst mayyyyybeeeeee, she'll undress when she sees THIS!]
You: i'm sorry
You: good night
You: no, it's really not helping
[Vigorous masturbation. And looking into the camera with a sad look on his face.]
Stranger: pless
You: no
Stranger: undres
You: bye
You: no, how many damn times do i have to tell you that i'm not going to undress?
You: good night
You have disconnected.
Introduction
I was introduced to the video-chatting site called Omegle during winter break off from college. In case you've never tried it, most of the "conversations" you will have involve either a guy masturbating on camera or some guy telling me TITS OR GTFO. Obviously it's a hard world out there for a girl who just wants to talk. (To be fair, I've talked to several gentlemen on Omegle who could hold quite a conversation, minus desperate pleas to see me without clothes on.) I relish the conversationalists I find, but have resorted to trolling and otherwise toying with the people who annoy me.
This blog will hopefully document some of the more interesting encounters I have while roaming Omegle and searching for chat partners. I am not interested in embarrassing anyone (too much) and I respect privacy, so I will never post pictures of people, nor will I post their names or any other personal information I might receive from the conversation. I will probably post a description of the person I'm chatting with, but that's all.
So, what's with the name of the blog? Well, I decided early on while using Omegle that some people are really fucking creepy. Obviously. So I started wearing a hat during the initial few minutes of conversation. I'm a tough young lady, and there's little I can't handle--but I feel so much more secure when I'm wearing my hat. Also, I've noticed that, while I'm wearing the hat, most guys will try to get me to remove the hat before anything else. It's very interesting, actually. Another bonus is that I feel really mysterious when I'm wearing it :D The hat is a visor I got for free from some equine expo event. It is black and white with "Equioxx" across the front. Equioxx is a drug for horses that can help treat osteoarthritis. I've only once had a guy on Omegle ask me what Equioxx actually is, and he thought I was weird after that.
And who am I? I'm a junior at a small liberal arts university, majoring in Computer Science and minoring in Linguistics. I love horseback riding and animals. I dream of earning a Ph.D. in Computer Science and researching artificial intelligence one day. My favorite band is Nine Inch Nails, I hate licorice, and my favorite color is purple. Yup, that's me in a nutshell.
Now I'm gonna go mess with some people online.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and this blog is going to be kind of foul. Even if I didn't talk like a sailor sometimes, that's just the nature of people and anonymity online. If you don't like it, don't read it. And I guess if your parents wouldn't like you reading it, don't read it. Or something like that. How long do you think it will take for this blog to get flagged?
This blog will hopefully document some of the more interesting encounters I have while roaming Omegle and searching for chat partners. I am not interested in embarrassing anyone (too much) and I respect privacy, so I will never post pictures of people, nor will I post their names or any other personal information I might receive from the conversation. I will probably post a description of the person I'm chatting with, but that's all.
So, what's with the name of the blog? Well, I decided early on while using Omegle that some people are really fucking creepy. Obviously. So I started wearing a hat during the initial few minutes of conversation. I'm a tough young lady, and there's little I can't handle--but I feel so much more secure when I'm wearing my hat. Also, I've noticed that, while I'm wearing the hat, most guys will try to get me to remove the hat before anything else. It's very interesting, actually. Another bonus is that I feel really mysterious when I'm wearing it :D The hat is a visor I got for free from some equine expo event. It is black and white with "Equioxx" across the front. Equioxx is a drug for horses that can help treat osteoarthritis. I've only once had a guy on Omegle ask me what Equioxx actually is, and he thought I was weird after that.
And who am I? I'm a junior at a small liberal arts university, majoring in Computer Science and minoring in Linguistics. I love horseback riding and animals. I dream of earning a Ph.D. in Computer Science and researching artificial intelligence one day. My favorite band is Nine Inch Nails, I hate licorice, and my favorite color is purple. Yup, that's me in a nutshell.
Now I'm gonna go mess with some people online.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and this blog is going to be kind of foul. Even if I didn't talk like a sailor sometimes, that's just the nature of people and anonymity online. If you don't like it, don't read it. And I guess if your parents wouldn't like you reading it, don't read it. Or something like that. How long do you think it will take for this blog to get flagged?
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